It’s been so long since I’ve posted something that it took several tries to even remember my username and password to log on to this thing. I thought I was going to have to start a new blog called House of the Imaginary Farting Dog. But then what if someone already had that blog name and then WHAT WOULD I DO?
A good friend of mine gave me the wise words to never post anything about work on here. I suppose in case some weird *co-worker goes surfing for blogs with the key words “pus,” “fart” and “poop.” Yeah.
Why did I not see her point before?
So instead let’s call this blog’s subject “dermatology”… or elective surgery, as ridiculous insurance likes to call anything you have removed that isn’t life threatening. I think if anyone went and rubbed their skin flap in an insurance reps face, they would happily change that categorization and demand all skin flaps to be removed immediately before the upcoming summer. Consider that a service announcement. Please people – go get your skin flaps removed.
But I digress.
You know when you get an ingrown hair on your arm and it becomes infected. And sometimes it buddies up right next to something you’ve had since birth like a mole or a freckle and you think why is that mole driving me bananas? Because you think it’s just something that’s always been there, a part of you forever and somehow you didn’t notice that bulging pussy thing before. Until the very moment you realize that the irritated mole is in fact a horrible pimple and now you’re just waiting for the right moment to pop it. Yeah. I get to pop that pimple in exactly 23 days – and get my own skin back.
Great, now my audience just went from the crazed mom to the pubescent pimply girl who thinks I really am writing about how horrible it is to get pimples.
*Nothing to read here weirdos. Just keep on surfing to the next 13 year old boy’s blog.
